I wouldn’t know how to call it.
In my solitude times, that is when
I tend to feel you near,
Hear you closely
Indeed, I see you almost clearly and enjoy your company
This time around, its beyond my emotions
I would literary call it “an affair of the heart”
Because when its quiet, when its dark,
when its empty and void, when its lonely,
when its uncomfortable, when its boring,
when its shallow, when its bleary
when every part of me goes numb,
That’s when I feel you close.
you teach me how to control my emotions
you show me how to smile in pain and dance in the rain
you’ve trained my heart to beat at peace even when its ripped and broken
you’ve gently thought me how to be grateful,
To the almighty for every person I come across
Through life’s journey, every life’s circumstance I ever face
For every consequences life decides to teach as a lesson
For every event that takes place in my life
For every moment of grief or celebration
you’ve coached me on how to love deeply,
How to care gently, how to forgive constantly,
How to give selflessly, how to trust wisely,
How to wait patiently, how to serve fervently
And how to pray ardently.
You tell me to always speak from the heart
For that’s the only way to voice the truth
You want me to either judge with compassion or not judge at all
Indeed pure love is what you have to offer
I wouldn’t know any better than to offer my loyalty
Your voice is so soft, your touch is so tender,
Your fragrance is so sweet, your presence is so warm,
That I don’t want you to leave
But you are so fragile that even a quiet anger kicks you out,
Even an impatient calm chases you away
Noise, distraction, public attention,
These can easily keep you away from me.
Most of the times you want us to spend some time,
But then you come and find me,
When I’m so rough that your soft voice escapes me,
Other times, my brutality and insensitivity
Makes your tender touch disappear unannounced
Even your sweet fragrance vanishes in vain
When I’m so angry and bitter
That’s when I crave your warmth because that’s when I freeze in the cold
Pleasing you is what I don’t know how to do yet.
I mean I do, its just that it doesn’t come out naturally,
I want my aspect of pleasing you to be as natural as a simple lifestyle
Please you like the way I blink or even the way I breath in and out.
Just like how everything about you pleases me
I want you to be pleased by everything I do.
I know you loved me just as I am
But would you please show me how to meet your standards?
Because I think your love is worth so much more
If its life my love let me live to serve you
If its light let the world see you through me
If its love my beloved let me reflect you
All of my desire is to live for you
All my wants all my passion is praise you
In all I do my groom let me please you
Have your way through my life as I have mine through you
Allow me to call you my comforter,
My healer, my peace of mind,
My saviour, my heart beat
My subconscious, my lord,
My friend, my strength,
My groom, my love,
My creator, my king
Or better still, my God
Because that’s who you are
You are closer to me than my father,
My mother, my sibling,
My friends, my spouse
If I would have one
Because you redeemed me from my past
You are my present strength
And you still are the holder to my future
Allow me to say or express this four feeble words
Ohh! How I love thee…..
Poem written by Theresia Matendo
[Edmondton Canada]
